


Comment, Like, and Subscribe

by Eienvine



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:55:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29635656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eienvine/pseuds/Eienvine
Summary: Popular YouTuber Sif thinks it’s ridiculous that people are focused more on whether she’s dating her co-host Thor than on her actual skills or personality. Producer Loki has a suggestion: if she faked having a boyfriend, maybe people would stop shipping her with Thor.It’s a decent plan. Now she just needs to find a fake boyfriend.
Relationships: Loki/Sif (Marvel)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 65





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**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted some mindless Sifki fluff, so I wrote it. I was not in the mood for angst or conflict, so this is a very chill sort of Loki who has largely worked out his issues with Odin.
> 
> Totally poking fun at fans here, but not this fandom; I think we're all cool. :D It was inspired by those YouTube viewers (we've all seen them) who fixate on YouTubers' personal lives more than their actual content, and also very much by the K-drama Her Private Life.

. . . . . .

#### How to know you’re the guy at the gym everyone hates

345,643 views • Jun 23, 2021

 **God of Thunder**  
2.07M subscribers

1,894 comments

 **Mahonry Sanchez** 1 day ago  
I feel personally attacked by this video 😂

 **moneymonkey** 1 day ago  
i laughed so hard i woke up my dog

 **Brooklyn Babe** 1 day ago

this video was 100% an excuse for volstagg to flex how much he can lift

▴ Hide 4 replies

 **Rayane** 10 hours ago

@Brooklyn Babe Those muscles! 😍

 **asgardian girl** 8 hours ago

@Rayane I watch this channel for Thor and Fandral, but every now and then I see Volstagg lift and I’m like DANG

 **All the good user names were taken** 7 hours ago

@asgardian girl I hope his wife doesn’t read these comments.

 **Hildegund Hildegreat** 6 hours ago

@All the good user names were taken I do, and I totally agree with them. He’s got great muscles. 😘

 **Daveydave** 10 hours ago  
Alternate title for this video: Thor ranting about all the people he’s too nice to yell at in real life.

 **Thorsif forever** 1 day ago

Okay but how natural do Sif and Thor look playing a couple???

▴ Hide 9 replies

 **StarsInOurEyes** 1 day ago

@Thorsif forever They are so cute together!

 **Kristin McCarthy** 1 day ago

@Thorsif forever Did you see that interview they did on Sam Wilson’s channel? They finish each other’s sentences the whole time. It’s adorable.

 **tough guy** 1 day ago

@Thorsif forever THEYRE NOT DATING

 **StarsInOurEyes** 1 day ago

@Kristin McCarthy WHAT? No, I missed it!

 **thors left bicep** 1 day ago

@tough guy DUDE the way they LOOK AT EACH OTHER they are SO IN LOVE

 **All the good user names were taken** 1 day ago

@Thorsif forever It’s weird how many of you are obsessed with the idea that these two are secretly dating. Why wouldn’t they tell people if they were?

 **Kristin McCarthy** 11 hours ago

@StarsInOurEyes He posted it last week. You should watch it. It’s amazing.

 **Kristin McCarthy** 11 hours ago

@All the good user names are taken Have you seen the way those two look at each other? Act around each other? Read each other’s minds? No way they’re just friends.

 **thors left bicep** 9 hours ago

@All the good user names are taken THEY ARE IN LOVE

. . . . . .

Sif pushes away her laptop with a disgusted sigh. “987 likes.”

Loki glances up from the video he’s editing. “On the new video? No, we were at eleven thousand, last I checked.”

“No, this comment from—” She peers at the computer again— “Thorsif forever.”

“Thorsif?” Loki repeats, and forces a chuckle. “Let me guess.” 

“The number of people who think me and Thor are secretly dating is insane,” she says. “Did you know there are Tumblrs dedicated to us? Like, multiple, many Tumblrs?”

“Did you Google yourself?” Loki asks, mildly appalled. “You know that way lies madness.”

“It was a moment of weakness,” Sif sighs. “I got a text from Brunnhilde about her training for the world championships. I needed to feel like I’d accomplished something.”

“You’ve accomplished something,” Loki says, because Sif’s one of the few people he cares to comfort. “You’re the co-creator of a YouTube channel with 2 million subscribers. You were on the cover of Women’s Health.” And then, because even for Sif, he can’t make himself be sincerely kind for long, “I mean, surely that’s almost as good as Brunnhilde’s three Olympic medals in judo.”

Sif punches him in the arm.

“I’m going across the street to the gym,” she says. “I need to punch something sturdier than you. Want to come?”

Loki, who has known since he was fourteen that he would follow Sif anywhere, is happy to agree. He takes a moment to change into workout clothes from the bag he keeps in their little office, then follows Sif out. Amora, the gorgeous receptionist at the front desk, winks at Loki as he passes; he ignores her.

It’s raining lightly—even Asgard, with its amazing climate, gets a little rain sometimes—and Loki’s glad it’s a short walk. It was Odin’s idea to put the Valhalla Fitness corporate headquarters across the street from their original gym location: to “stay close to their roots” and “remember how it all started.” Loki privately thinks that’s hilarious, because Odin is not exactly what you’d call a humble guy: his original gym has exploded into a national chain with 134 locations, and Loki doesn’t remember a time when the family wasn’t filthy rich, driving Land Rovers and vacationing in Bali.

Still, Odin’s silly idea about staying close to their roots means it’s a short walk from Valhalla corporate headquarters, where Odin has given his sons office space to manage their YouTube channel, to the gym where they film most of their videos. So Loki’s not complaining much.

He should probably let the subject drop, but he can’t quite bring himself to do it. “So it irritates you, that everyone on the Internet thinks you and Thor are a couple?” he asks as they wait for the light to change. “Or should be?”

Sif’s face falls. “Yeah, I mean, do you read the comments? ‘Volstagg’s so strong. Hogun’s such a good fighter. Fandral’s so funny and cute. Thor’s so perfect. And Sif should be Thor’s girlfriend.’ How come no one ever comments on how strong I am? Or how I competed nationally in judo? Or that I’m funny? For Pete’s sake, I beat Thor in that wrestling video and half the comments were ‘He probably had to let her win or she would have dumped him.’ No one takes me seriously because they’re fixated on this imaginary romance.”

None of her complaints, he can’t help but notice, have to do with her feelings, or lack thereof, for Thor; he’d like to ask her if that factors in, because he’s always secretly feared that she’s interested in his brother, but he’s very much terrified that her answer will be that she does in fact have feelings for Thor and then he will have to go lock himself in his condo and cry for three days. So instead of asking her any such thing, he jokes, “You could tweet something, maybe. ‘What a beautiful day to not be dating Thor.’”

Sif laughs. “Subtle. But I feel like some of these fans are, like, crazy conspiracy theorists about this. They’d take a direct denial as proof that there’s something to hide.”

Loki snorts. “Yeah, like when you try to convince Darcy we really landed on the moon.” But now the wheels of his mind are turning; he’s always loved the challenge of changing minds and getting people to think what he wants them to think, which is why he spent the first four years of his career doing PR for Valhalla Fitness. It’s a socially acceptable and profitable form of manipulation: what’s not to like? “So it can’t be an obvious denial,” he says, thinking aloud. “With these types, it’d be better to leave bits of evidence they can find on their own, like a bread crumb trail. They’ll believe information more if they think they discovered it themselves.”

They’ve reached the front doors of the gym, and Sif glances up at him, her expression amused. “Are you plotting a PR campaign right now?”

“I could. And you know it would be brilliant.”

“So what would your strategy be?” she asks as they enter the gym and nod at Bryan at the front desk, who knows them well enough that he doesn’t make them scan their badges to get in.

“Well, the easiest thing would be for you to get a boyfriend.”

Sif raises an eyebrow, probably thinking of how disastrously her last relationship ended. 

“Not a real one,” he clarifies, “just a guy you can be seen with.” As he talks, he can feel himself getting sucked into the planning for this fictitious PR stunt. That’s how his personality works: he gets fixated on ideas. (And then things usually go up in flames, but he ignores that fact.) “But you wouldn’t say anything about it online; you would just allow yourself to seen by fans from time to time. In public, but in a place where you could reasonably claim you didn’t expect fans to be watching you. You let them see the two of you together, holding hands, kissing, acting like a couple. Maybe you post something vague on your Twitter that makes it sound like you’re in a relationship. And then you sit back and let the fans go nuts.”

They’ve reached the punching bags now, but Sif isn’t moving toward one; she’s just standing there, looking thoughtfully at Loki. “You have anyone in mind for me to fake-date?”

He knows one guy who’d happily pretend to be Sif’s boyfriend—his name rhymes with Smokey Brodinson—but he can’t imagine Sif would ever go along with that. So he shrugs and jokes, “Someone handsome, so people will understand why you’d choose him over Thor.”

Sif nods slowly. “And we'd just do couple stuff, but make sure we have an audience of fans who don’t realize we know we’re being watched?”

Loki nods.

Sif looks over his shoulder a long moment. And then she says, “Don’t look now, but there are three girls at the front desk. They’re pretending that they’re interested in a membership, but one of them has a camera with a serious zoom lens. They’re fans, probably here stalking Thor.”

“Okay,” he says slowly.

“Bryan is about to start giving them the tour, which means they’ll be heading this way pretty soon.”

“Okay,” he says again, because he can’t quite figure out what she’s getting at.

“Fans,” she says, as though he’s missed something obvious. “In a place where we could reasonably claim we didn’t expect fans to be watching us.”

Loki blinks, feeling his pulse accelerate. “Okay?”

She rolls her eyes, looking amused. “Can I kiss you? This is the perfect opportunity to start ‘dropping bread crumbs.’”

“Oh. Umm. You want to pretend to date me?” He had honestly not even considered himself as a serious candidate, because he knows he’s not as muscle-bound and chiseled as her last boyfriend Haldor, and because despite them knowing each other since they were fourteen, and now working together three days a week for the past year, they’ve never been that close. She’s always been Thor’s friend, brought into his orbit because he’s Thor’s brother; that's all.

“Who else am I going to ask?” she says reasonably. “It can’t be one of the guys who appears on the channel. But none of our fans have seen your face.” He doesn’t answer for a moment—far too shocked—and she subsides a little. “Unless you’d rather not pretend to date me. Sorry—I didn’t even check if you’d be okay with this."

It’s strange, to see bold, fearless Sif looking apologetic and uncertain. And the fake boyfriend thing was his idea in the first place. And the last thing he wants to do is make Sif think he’s repulsed by her or something.

Besides, Sif wants to kiss him. Why would he pass up the chance to make all his wildest dreams come true, even if she’s only doing it so people stop shipping her with Thor?

So instead of answering, he steps close and puts one hand on her cheek, the other on her waist, forcing himself not to hesitate; after all, if they were dating, he wouldn’t be shy about touching her. And then he kisses her, trying to act like this is normal for him, trying to act like his whole world hasn’t just dissolved into sunshine and fireworks at the touch of her lips.

She responds promptly, her arms winding around his neck while his snake around her waist to draw her closer, and with his last coherent brain cell, he remembers to turn so Sif will be more visible to the fans walking by. And then he gives himself over to the delight of kissing Sif, who is clearly doing her best to make it look realistic, and if he died right now he’d die happy.

From somewhere to his left he hears gasps and then excited whispers, and then the distinctive click of a camera, several times.

“Umm, I guess we'll skip this part of the tour,” Bryan says, sounding confused. The group probably moves on then, but Loki doesn’t see them go because he decides he’d better kiss Sif a while longer, just in case they’re still being watched (he swears that’s the only reason). Which works out, because Sif is still kissing him.

So it’s a while before they break apart, Loki’s heart pounding like he’s just run a marathon. He’s gratified to see that Sif looks a little breathless too.

“So, uh, hopefully that worked,” she says.

He nods. “Umm, should we tell Bryan what’s going on?” he asks in a desperate attempt to avoid saying something stupid like “That was amazing we should get married.”

Sif just laughs. “I don’t care if Bryan thinks we’re dating. Actually it’ll sell the illusion if he believes it. Just in case more fans come in.” She grins at him. “Thanks for your help, Loki.” And she turns her attention to the punching bags while Loki tries to get his feet steady beneath him.

And that night, Sif sends him a link to a Tumblr account called Bod of Thunder, and there, in a post that already has 407 notes, is a picture of him and Sif locked in a passionate embrace in front of the punching bags. The caption beneath reads “WHO IS SIF KISSING????” with the tags #godofthunder #siftyrsdottir #isthistheendof #thorsif.

(Loki promptly downloads the picture to his computer and declares it his new favorite possession.)

His phone beeps and he looks down to see a new text from Sif. “Hopefully that does the trick!”

. . . . . .

But, it turns out, that does not do the trick. Not by a long shot.

. . . . . .

At their team meeting the next morning at the God of Thunder corporate office (yes, it’s actually just a mid-sized office in the Valhalla Fitness corporate headquarters, but they’re not quite making Dude Perfect money just yet), Fandral announces he has something huge to talk about. And then he whips out his cell phone and asks, “You mind telling us why a fanblog has a picture of you two in a _lovers’ embrace?”_

Thor’s face lights up. “You two? Really? That’s amazing. I’ve always thought you’d be perfect together.”

Well, the shock from that statement has utterly wiped away the smart retort Loki had on the tip of his tongue. Luckily Sif seems unaffected. “It’s staged,” she says. “We knew we were being watched. And I figured if the fans thought I was dating someone else, maybe they wouldn’t obsess so much over whether me and Thor are dating.”

Thor deflates. “Really? That’s all?”

Hogun looks unimpressed. “And you chose Loki for this?”

Loki rolls his eyes. He and Hogun have never exactly been the best of friends.

“Why not?” Sif demands. “He’s hot and he was there. And it couldn’t have been one of you guys; that would have just made it worse. No one knows who Loki is because he’s never been in a video.”

Loki is almost too distracted by the revelation that Sif thinks he’s hot to notice that Hildegund is speaking. “Has it really been bothering you, all the fan attention on you and Thor’s alleged relationship?” Volstagg’s wife, who manages the merch, is the only other woman on the team, plus she’s more empathetic than the rest of the group combined, so she and Sif have always had a special bond.

Sif shrugs. “I mean, it’s nothing against Thor; I’m just tired of that being the only thing people say about me. Maybe if they’re not fixated on whether I’m dating Thor, they’ll, you know, notice that I’m actually good at stuff.”

Volstagg puts a hand on her shoulder. “If that’s how you feel, then we understand.” Hildegund nods.

“I’m still a little disappointed you didn’t choose to make out with me,” Fandral says with mock solemnity, “but Loki is an excellent second choice. If you need any help faking this relationship, let me know.”

“Me too,” says Thor, who still looks a little disappointed (and that’s something Loki is going to have to sort through later: that Thor apparently really thinks he should date Sif).

“Thanks,” says Sif, “but we’re really hoping that picture turns out to be enough.”

. . . . . .

But that picture does not turn out to enough.

. . . . . .

 **r/godofthunder** • Posted by u/fandralsbiggestfan 9 hours ago

**Does Sif have a boyfriend? Anyone know who this guy is? (photo from u/Bod_of_Thunder)**

[The now-infamous photo]

197 comments

thorsleftbicep 9 hours ago

is this real? holy cow who is he?

fandralsbiggestfan 9 hours ago

IDK I found it on Tumblr.

Bod_of_Thunder 9 hours ago

Yeah it’s real, I took it. Thanks for stealing my picture, by the way.

fandralsbiggestfan 9 hours ago

Sorry, I just didn’t see it up on Reddit yet. I’ll add a photo credit. But it’s real?

Bod_of_Thunder 8 hours ago

Yeah, I took it at the original Valhalla Fitness location in Asgard yesterday. I was there with some friends trying to see Thor.

Turkish_Delight 9 hours ago

Are we even sure this is really Sif? It’s kind of a low-quality picture.

kmccarthy 9 hours ago

I don’t think it’s her. You can’t really see her face. And I think she’s smaller than this girl.

Bod_of_Thunder 9 hours ago

Sorry the picture is crap; the light was bad in there. We saw her face before they started kissing. I’m pretty sure it was her, although we were pretty far away from them.

Turkish_Delight 8 hours ago

She wouldn’t do that to Thor.

Mark Down 8 hours ago

Why shouldn’t she date whoever she wants? Because she’s not dating Thor and she never has been. And she only looks small in the YouTube videos because she’s always standing next to massive guys!

kmccarthy 7 hours ago

Yeah, she wouldn’t do that to Thor. I don’t think it’s her.

Bod_of_Thunder 7 hours ago

It looked like her when we took the picture. But I guess we did mostly only see her from the back.

SammyWhammy 7 hours ago

FAKE

. . . . . .

“Seriously?” Sif demands.

Loki nods. “It goes on like that for about 190 more comments. The hardcore ‘Thorsif’ posters are convinced it wasn’t you. I guess we should have kissed in a spot with better lighting.”

(By the way, he thinks he deserves a medal for being able to talk about that kiss with Sif without bursting into flames, which is not easy. He has thought of absolutely nothing else for the past two days; it was the most powerful kiss of his life, which is depressing, because she was faking it. But he’s not going to let Sif know any of that.)

Sif drops her head to the table and groans, but then she looks up at him and squares her shoulders. “All right, Mr. Publicist, what’s next?”

“Next? You want to keep faking a relationship?”

“Yeah, if it’s cool with you,” she says casually.

“It’s . . . cool with me.”

“So what’s our next step?”

He forces himself to consider and not just to fixate on the idea that Sif is comfortable with continuing to fake date him. “Well, where are you most likely to see fans?”

She shrugs. “It varies. Downtown where the tourist sites are, definitely. Around here, sometimes.”

He nods thoughtfully. “And how often do you get recognized?”

“Not every time I go out. But maybe every other time? Every third time?”

Loki considers this. “So the most surefire thing to do would be to start circulating our own photos—stage something, then post them on Tumblr or Reddit. But we’d have to create an online presence for this poster first; it’d be a little suspicious if their first and only post was this bombshell revelation about your secret boyfriend. So that’s a complicated option.”

“So what’s the next best option?”

Loki hesitates—then decides to go for it. He genuinely does think this is the right answer; he genuinely is not only saying this because it happens to be something he’d enjoy. “We pretend to date, full-time, for the next few weeks: crowded restaurants, popular tourist destinations, places with crowds. And we just hope we get photographed at least a few times. We get enough photographic evidence out there that the fans can’t deny it.”

Sif nods. “Sounds good to me, on one condition: you let me pay for you.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I do,” she insists. “I’m the one dragging you into this.”

Loki hesitates, and then he smiles. His father would tell him a gentleman always pays for a lady, but on the other hand, he does love free stuff. “Fine, I agree.”

She grins and claps him on the shoulder. “Dress up nice tonight!” she says. “I’m taking you to di Maggio’s.”

. . . . . .

That night, Loki and Sif have a delightful dinner at a crowded restaurant in a tourist area. She is stunning in a crimson dress; he is smart in a well-fitted suit. They talk as though they are on a first date: their histories, their dreams for the future, childhood pets. It’s this stilted conversation that lets Loki know that for all Sif has acted blythe and unconcerned all this while, she’s a little more uncomfortable than she lets on. It makes him feel better. They hold hands over the table and when they leave they do so with their arms around each other’s waists.

No pictures appear online.

The next afternoon, they go to an art museum popular with tourists. Loki knows a great deal about art, and Sif knows nothing, so he tells her about the pieces they’re seeing. By the end they’re both a little more relaxed than they were at last night’s dinner, and they sit in the museum cafe and eat ice cream and share funny stories from college (she went to Gladsheim University, along with Thor and their other high school friends, while he left the state for the University of Vanaheim). They hold hands the whole time they’re wandering the museum, and when they’re at the cafe she shoots him flirtatious grins and laughs at everything he says as though it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard.

One picture appears online: one of just Sif on the way home on the subway, which is so crowded they’re forced to stand some distance from each other.

The following Monday they go to a fast casual salad place after a day of filming. She asks him about why he left his job at Valhalla Fitness’s PR department to manage Thor’s YouTube channel full-time, and he’s surprised to find himself answering her honestly: how he was tired of being known as the boss’s son, how it was weirdly difficult to be bossed around by his father after leaving home. She in turn confesses that after her judo career didn’t go the way she’d hoped, being the second-most prominent face on God of Thunder—and all the Internet fame that ensued—soothed some of the disappointment she felt at failing to live up to her potential as a judoka.

“Is that shallow of me?” she asks, her face sincere in the harsh industrial light of the restaurant.

“I don’t think so,” he says, echoing her sincerity with his own, because it’s Sif, and she makes it easy to be sincere. “I think that’s natural. Besides, you’re brilliant on camera. And you’ve helped write some of our best videos.”

She smiles at him.

They walk home through a well-lit part of downtown, crowded even on a Monday night, with her arm around his waist and his around her shoulders.

No pictures appear online.

Finally, a week after they started this project, jackpot: they wander Chinatown for hours, poking around in old antique shops and eating the most amazing dumplings he’s ever had. She buys him a boba tea and they wander the streets hand in hand, sipping their drinks. She tells him how hard it was growing up without her mother; he tells her how hard it was growing up in the shadow of golden boy Thor, and they squeeze each other’s hands for support. At one point it starts to rain and they duck under an awning, laughing, and Sif looks up at him with sparkling eyes and then, before he’s realized what’s happening, pulls him into a kiss: sweet, simple, lovely. He drives her home, and when they get to her place, without thinking he grabs her hand presses it to his lips. She bids him a laughing good night, and he goes back to his car, floating on air.

Eleven photos end up online that evening; apparently a fan or fans followed them for at least a half-hour. There are photos of them trying each other’s boba teas. There are photos of them walking hand in hand. There are photos of their kiss. Loki lets himself gaze at them for a few moments, and then he calls Sif.

“This is the perfect moment for a tweet.”

Ten minutes later, one appears.

 **Sif Tyrsdottir** @judosif • Mar 3  
[A photo of Sif posing with her boba tea in front of brick wall]  
There is nothing better than boba.

. . . . . .

Bod_of_Thunder 1 hour ago

Okay, these photos are definitely real and definitely Sif.

katesaccount 1 hour ago

wait, i missed it - where did these come from and how do we know theyre sif?

kodachome 1 hour ago

I took them this afternoon in Asgard’s Chinatown. Sif tweeted a picture of herself drinking the same boba tea. So it was definitely her.

kmccarty 1 hour ago

How could she do that to Thor?

Turkish_Delight 1 hour ago

Look, maybe she was never dating Thor. And look how happy she is!

thorsleftbicep 1 hour ago

So who’s the guy?

Bod_of_Thunder 1 hour ago

Nobody knows. I tried to do an image search but nothing came up. And there’s no super clear shots of his face.

kmccarty 1 hour ago

Am I the only one who finds these suspicious? Like they’re almost too perfectly staged?

kodachrome 1 hour ago

Are you saying you think I lied? I definitely took these myself this afternoon. Sif and this guy had no idea I was following them.

katesaccount 1 hour ago

IDK, I know what you mean. Like it’s too perfect. And it’s so convenient they were in such a popular crowded place.

FrenchFlies 1 hour ago

She lives in Asgard! Why shouldn’t she hang out in Asgard?

thorsleftbicep 1 hour ago

I guess that’s a good point. It’s a little suspicious.

FrenchFlies 1 hour ago

I give up.

. . . . . .

Even after all that, there are still some doubters. So Operation Fool the Fans continues unabated, and Loki and Sif start spending a lot of their free time together.

They discover they both have a love of Mystery Science Theater 3000—he likes the humor, she used to watch it with her late father—and she invites him over to watch an episode at her place. It could have been like a proper date, just the two of them, but Thor and Fandral hear about it and cheerfully invite themselves along. Still, it’s the first time Loki’s been invited to hang out at Sif’s apartment, and he likes it. And luckily the invites become a regular thing: the whole team from God of Thunder doing movie nights together.

Loki mentions he’d like to learn some self-defense, so Sif starts giving him private tutoring at the gym. Then she starts coming early and staying late when they have a planning or filming day, just to chat with him. And one day when he’s stuck at the office until after midnight, finishing up editing a video so it can be posted the next day, she stops by to bring him much-appreciated late-night snacks and to convince him to take a much-needed break.

For the first time, Sif and Loki are actually friends. And it seems like the rest of the team is happy about that; they all get weirdly pleased when they see Sif and Loki together, and Loki’s not sure why, but he’s learned it’s sometimes best not to pry too closely into what Thor and his friends are thinking.

In the meantime, Sif and Loki keep up the fake dating, going out somewhere public every few days. Casual physical contact becomes second nature to Loki; he doesn’t second-guess himself or panic before putting an arm around Sif or kissing her (and oh, the kissing! He’s not sure how he lived this long without it). It’s honestly the most physically affectionate “relationship” Loki’s ever been in; he’s dated a fair bit, but his only serious, long-term relationship before this was with Sigyn in college, who was not big on touching. And he’s found out he loves the casual contact—cuddling and hand-holding and having Sif play with his hair—which is surprising for someone who would describe himself as “prickly.”

Photos of them together proliferate. Some of the Thorsif people are less than gracious about it, but Tumblrs pop up that are dedicated to “Sif’s Mystery Man” and to insisting that Sif has a right to date whoever she wants to date.

All things considered, it’s the happiest Loki’s been in a long time. And he dreads the day Sif decides they can drop the ruse.

. . . . . .

“I . . . love you too. Bye.”

Loki hangs up his phone to see Sif watching him with a thoughtful expression. “Can I ask you about that?” she asks.

He furrows his brow, confused.

“I mean—I just can’t figure out the deal with you and your dad. It’s obvious you two love each other, but sometimes you two talk like you did just now—” She gestures at the phone he still holds in his hand— “and you both seem really . . . awkward.”

Loki opens his mouth to deflect, and instead finds himself sighing.

She smiles softly. “You don’t have to tell me; I shouldn’t be nosy. It’s just . . . if there’s anything I can do to help . . .”

He looks at Sif a long time, at her beautiful face glowing warm in the light of the setting sun, her hair ruffling gently in the sea breeze. And then he puts his phone back in his pocket and reaches out for her hand, and they begin making their way along the boardwalk.

The evening is perfection: the sun setting over the edge of the water, filling the world with orange light and blue shadows. The perfect temperature and the cool breeze caressing his skin. The smell of popcorn and churros. The music and delighted laughter of children from the carousel. The sound of waves breaking gently. And Sif’s hand warm in his.

And maybe that’s why he talks. “I assume you’ve heard I’m adopted.”

She blinks in surprise—maybe she’d given up on him answering—then nods. “Thor told me. You found out in college, right?”

He nods. “And it . . . caused some weirdness for a while. I’d always been convinced that our father liked Thor best, so this felt like proof of it—of this mistreatment I’d convinced myself that I suffered. I didn’t come home or talk to him for two years.”

She squeezes his hand gently. “And what happened?”

He shrugs. “I grew up a little. I saw more of the world. I met people with awful family situations, really terrible stuff, and it made me re-examine my own upbringing and realize that I’d actually had a very charmed life. My father was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But a lot of the things I’d accused him of and held against him . . those were all in my head. Those were me assuming other people’s motives and then punishing them for my assumptions. Those were me finding a way to twist every situation so it looked like I was the victim and other people were deliberately trying to hurt me. I realized that I needed to find a way to get out of that headspace and fix things with my family. So I moved back to Asgard and took a job at Valhalla Fitness.”

“And your relationship with your father?”

He sighs. “It’s been getting better. I’ve worked a lot on not always assuming the worst of him, and we’re both working on communicating better. But . . . we’re not great at it. Yet. Sharing a lot about ourselves, being vulnerable with other people . . . it’s not really an area where either of us excels.”

“I’m glad you’re trying,” she says softly. “Family is important. I . . . would give anything to see my dad one more time."

Loki comes to a stop, there on the boardwalk, and looks down at her. She gives him a small smile. And without further thought, he gathers her in his arms.

She goes willingly into his embrace; she’s just the right height to rest her head on his shoulder. The sun is nearly down now, and the stars are beginning to appear, and he thinks maybe if he wishes hard enough, this moment will last forever.

He pulls her closer, closes his eyes, and wishes.

. . . . . .

#### How many reps is too many?

421,539 views • Aug 11, 2021

 **God of Thunder**  
2.11M subscribers

2,165 comments

 **Sara Bensoudo** 1 day ago  
I was not expecting that ending! :D

 **if you can’t stand the heat** 1 day ago  
i recommend you not watch this while eating. i just snorted milk out my nose.

 **thors left bicep** 1 day ago

okay this was very funny but WHO IS SIF DATING? IT’S BEEN OVER A MONTH. we need to know.

▴ Hide 14 replies

 **asgardian girl** 11 hours ago

@thors left bicep Seriously, the curiosity is killing me! He is so hot. Like if a rockstar vampire became an accountant.

 **All the good user names were taken** 7 hours ago

@asgardian girl You’d find that hot?

 **asgardian girl** 11 hours ago

@All the good user names were taken Who wouldn’t?

 **Mulligan** 8 hours ago

@thors left bicep Wait, Sif’s dating someone?

 **Kristin McCarthy** 7 hours ago

@Mulligan Yeah, she’s been spotted all over Asgard with a guy who apparently looks like a rockstar vampire accountant.

 **asgardian girl** 6 hours ago

@Kristin McCarthy And it’s hot, right?

 **Kristin McCarthy** 5 hours ago

@asgardian girl I admit, he’s growing on me.

 **Mulligan** 4 hours ago

@Kristin McCarthy I want to see these pictures!

 **thors left bicep** 3 hours ago

@Mulligan you can see pictures of them together here.

 **Mulligan** 2 hours ago

@thors left bicep Dude, I know that guy. That’s Loki Odinson, Thor’s younger brother. We went to high school together.

 **asgardian girl** 2 hours ago

@Mulligan You solved it! And don’t you think he looks like a hot rockstar vampire accountant?

 **Mulligan** 2 hours ago

@asgardian girl No.

 **thors left bicep** 1 hour ago

@Mulligan SIF IS DATING THOR’S LITTLE BROTHER????

 **Kristin McCarthy** 1 hours ago

@thors left bicep I need some time to process this. 

. . . . . .

Well, now the news is out; everyone knows that Thor has a younger brother named Loki, and that Loki is “dating” Sif, and suddenly Loki is forced to set his social media accounts to private because he’s getting an influx of followers (and weird messages). Fortunately for him, he only has LinkedIn, Instagram, and a Facebook he never checks anymore because looking at Facebook just makes him worried and depressed.

Sif is deeply apologetic about the whole thing. “I know you didn’t want to be in the spotlight,” she begins, but he cuts her off.

“You didn’t do it on purpose,” he assures her. “And anyway, it’s not that I’m super private; it’s that I didn’t want to be on camera next to Thor and have everyone wonder why I’m so skinny compared to him.”

He means it as a joke, but he’s forgetting that Sif knows him too well, after nearly two months of fake dating, of meals and movie nights and heartfelt conversations, and she sees through his humor. And she reaches out to squeeze his hand and say “Well, I think you look great.”

And then she just holds his hand. Like they’re . . . something.

That’s another thing that’s been weighing on his mind, along with his newfound and unwanted fame: that he and Sif are still . . . whatever they are.

It worked, their fake relationship: everyone online is convinced of it these days. There are still a few hardcore Thorsif shippers who hold onto hope, but most people have turned their attention elsewhere. Now that people are less fixated on Sif’s relationship status, they’ve—well, some of them are now constantly calling for Loki to appear in a video. But the rest are focusing on Sif, and her skills and strength and dry humor. That means it worked; Sif and Loki fixed her concerns and people are paying a little more attention to her than to her dating status. There’s no reason for them to pretend to date each other anymore.

But . . . they haven’t stopped yet. He doesn’t bring it up, and she doesn’t bring it up. They just . . . keep going. They still spend all their time together. They still go to dinner and have movie nights and walk together through the city. They still touch each other constantly, even if there are no fans around to perform for; she still kisses him frequently, so he supposes she’ll be okay with it if he returns the favor. None of their friends and family comment on it; they all seem to have accepted this as normal. And Loki has no idea what it all means, and he does not have the courage to ask her about it.

Until one day in late August, when they’ve gone over to the gym to work out together, but Sif is on a phone call as they arrive and Loki lingers near the front desk to wait for her to finish.

Bryan’s there—the employee who witnessed their first kiss—and he smiles at Loki. “How’s that going?” he asks. “You and Sif?”

Loki blinks at him, then shrugs. “To be honest, I have no idea.”

“Rude,” says Sif, whose call has just ended. “What do you mean you have no idea?”

Bryan gets called away then. Loki thinks about trying to prevaricate or just ignore Sif’s question, but honestly he’s been going crazy lately wondering about all this, and suddenly the thought of being honest with her sounds pretty good. So he shrugs. “I have no idea because I have no idea why we’re still pretending to date. Your fans are convinced, right?”

Immediately he regrets the words coming out of his mouth, because now Sif is going to say “Good point, you’re right” and then she’s going to stop kissing him and inviting him over for dinner and keeping him company during late-night editing sprees. He frowns and braces himself for impact.

So he’s surprised when instead Sif says slowly, as though figuring this out as she speaks: “Loki . . . I don’t think we are pretending. I think we’ve been dating for a while now.”

Loki blinks.

And now Sif is looking a little uncertain, and maybe a little . . . hopeful? “Don’t you think?”

But Loki’s brain is moving like it’s caught in molasses, so surprised is he by this turn of events. “You mean—you’re not doing this—for your fans to see?”

She smiles fondly and grabs his hand to drag him into the tiny windowless employee office next to the reception desk.

“Look around,” she commands. “You see anyone watching? Any cameras? Anyone we’re trying to convince?”

He shakes his head silently.

“Good,” she says. “Now pay attention.” And she takes his face in her hands and kisses him slowly and thoroughly until he finally understands and kisses her back.

“You understand?” she murmurs against his lips.

“Mostly,” he says, tipping his forehead against hers. “But—how long have you . . .”

She shrugs. “I was always kind of fascinated by you. And it took about two fake dates with you before I realized I didn’t want this to be fake anymore.”

Loki leans back a little and stares at her, and then he grins. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I understand. And I don’t want this to be fake anymore either. I—” He forces the admission out. “I never wanted this to be fake.”

“Good,” she grins, and pulls him close. “And just think, we don’t have to announce to anyone that we’re dating.”

“Well, we have to tell the team it’s real now.”

Sif laughs. “I think they knew before we did.”

Loki thinks of Thor’s excited response when he first thought they were dating, of Hildegund’s knowing smile every time she saw Sif had come to visit Loki at the office, of Fandral’s winks at Loki when the alleged couple would sit by each other at movie night. And he grins. “I think you’re right.” He presses a quick kiss to her lips. “I’m just glad we finally realized it too.”

. . . . . .

#### Six types of personal trainers to avoid

589,112 views • Sep 8, 2021

 **God of Thunder**  
2.2M subscribers

2,661 comments

 **Ocean Lights** 1 day ago  
UGH I have definitely met types 1 and 3.

 **miero** 1 day ago  
I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now. (Seriously, I used to be such a type 4. But I’m better now!) Also, who’s the new guy?

 **Rayane** 11 hours ago

Okay, Loki is hilarious. I was not expecting that.

▴ Hide 8 replies

 **StarsInOurEyes** 7 hours ago

@Rayane Him constantly looking 100% done with everyone in the video is the best thing.

 **Kristin McCarthy** 7 hours ago

@StarsInOurEyes Except when he looks at Sif and he goes all 😍 and it makes me go 😍

 **asgardian girl** 6 hours ago

@Kristin McCarthy That’s our rockstar vampire accountant!

 **Mahonry Sanchez** 5 hours ago

@asgardian girl I’ve missed like the last three months of videos. Who’s that guy?

 **asgardian girl** 5 hours ago

@Mahonry Sanchez Sif’s boyfriend, Thor’s younger brother. His name’s Loki and apparently he’s been producing and editing all their videos for a long time. Also he is cute and sarcastic and funny and we love him.

 **Kristin McCarthy** 3 hours ago

@asgardian girl Yeah, he’s pretty cool. And Sif looks so happy these days. So we like him.

 **thors left bicep** 3 hours ago

@Kristin McCarthy CORRECTION: WE LOVE HIM.

 **Kristin McCarthy** 3 hours ago

@thors left bicep Fine, yeah, we love him.

. . . . . .

fin


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